Selamat Hari Raya

Assalamualaikum wbt

Hari raya akhirnya bakal menjelang tiba. I didn't have anything to be prepared with, as I'm not going to celebrate anything. Mood is there, but I think, I've spoilt everything. Too many dreams abt Hari raya... maybe that's y. If u ask me, how it is to be a wife during hari raya, I will simply say, just normal, coz I ain't gonna celebrate it anyway.

Still keeping track with the plan, I planned to go back home on the 1st day raya. Altho, I know I'm gonna be dead tired, but it's ok, worth every second spend with my family. As lately I felt too lonely here, feels like living in a jungle... differences is... it's jungle built with buildings. Haha...

I don't have anything much for Hari Raya. My husband doesn't seem to be into it, so I don't really know whether to celebrate or not anymore. The feel is not there. But keeping to the spirit of Hari raya I just wish that I could handle my emotions, as lately I'm not in a good mood. Hari raya season, How I can't help those passengers to be checked in, maybe being cursed when u rejected them, that's y my life's like this? I don't know y.

I was a lil bit upset about something just now. Just figured out that somebody is still not over yet with someone else, maybe the feeling is still there, but who am I? I was not into anything after that. I'm just surprised, very2 surprised. The message was kept till today, but wasn't from mine. Mine? wAS NOT there!!!

I told myself to stay calm, let things be at the best of it's own. I'm tired sometimes, being so childish, sometimes I felt like I'm nothing, but just a burden to my husband. I'm useless and I don't know how to handle things. That's who I am currently.

When I'm at my lowest strenght to live on, I just need him to hug me tight and tell me that everything is doing great, it's all rite, our life is quite fine... But I just can't simply imagine to have such thing rite. He's human, and I'm human. The way we think is way different, due to the maturity factor. I'm just not matured enuf, and could never be 1 for him.

Dissapointment over dissapointment, I was trying to be a better person. Rite now, what I know is that, 1st day raya, both of us will flew back to MYY and then, we'll be back to KUL, but I'm gonna celebrate the rest of the days staying overnite at my friend's house, because he's not around. It's not a good time to celebrate, not just at the good time I supposed. I'm sad, but there's nothing that I can do. I was told to do that. I'm just his wife.

Whatever it is, hoping that everybody could enjoy these faboulous hari raya. If you're not celebrating with the love ones, don't be so sad (the same goes to me) well, Life must go on... I supposed? Take care, drive safely!!! Salam Aidilfitri!!!!

Will be missing my husband,

Dian